Dont be a Menace [in SouthCentral SaltLake while drinking your juice in the hood]

This includes:

- Pushing down Main St. in a canary-yellow Caddy bumping somethin coming fresh from the Bay Area.

- Accidentally dressing in nothing but blue, and not realizing that you are only wearing blue clothes until you get into a car with someone who is also accidentally wearing nothing but blue.
- Poker @ 4:00pm on a Tuesday.



















- Jumping up & down on an elevator. [See previous post]

Death Trap

I told William not to jump up & down in the elevator. I said it would break.


But he didnt listen. And of course, as expected, the elevator broke. So now, stuck between floors one and four, in an elevator that had turned off, we sat. Will wanted to spark up a cigarette. I wanted to try to climb out the top. We didnt do either.


Instead, Will called Kenneth to let him know that, "we were stuck on an elevator and to fucking do something because we were stuck on an elevator and that he should go get somebody because we were stuck on a fucking elevator, oh and hey, did i mention that right now we are stuck on a fucking elevator?"















I was not enjoying myself because we were headed up to Floor 4, and I wasnt quite sure how high off the ground we were. For some reason, I just dont find the possibility of falling 4 stories inside of an elevator shaft that appealing I guess.















It then occured to us that we should try opening the doors by hand, 2 minutes later, we found ourselves stepping out of the obnoxious elevator and onto Floor 2.


Why does this stuff always happen?



Steppin out...

Lesson: Dont bounce up and down in ghetto-ass elevators. They will break. You will be stuck. Its not fun.

Latenight,Skate,Flight/Flew/Flow,YouKnow,WeRoll,TooRight.

Mom (Kirsten) & Father (Boren) were fighting, Austin was looking like ET, cinnamon sabotage was in full-effect, Obama was carved in a pumkin, and it was after 1 a.m.

So on Wednesday morning, after people broke out some boxed wine and smokes at Casa D'Ambrosio, Rama and I decided it was time to start heading home. With no car or ride, it was latenightskate time. It was also cold--somewhere in the 30's. Luckily I had on a new--and by new I mean old as shit--coat from TTown, and was lookin fresh as a motherfucker.

Who cares, it was way fun, I think we saw maybe 5 cars the whole ride? Somehow, most of the way from near the U to Holladay was downhill, so we could focus on yelling and making as much noise as possible while goin through neighborhoods at 2 a.m.



I only wish we would have stuck around for strip chandeliers... Damn

Basking in some Midnight Sun..
[Tom above, Rama below]

The One & Only

I only know one person who pees outside at his own house in the middle of the day when not intoxicated. At least he is visible from the street. On an unrelated note, Lincoln Lane property values are down 20%...

You can't spell Thursday without 'Trifecta'

2 Jettie Bros in 1 house? Tweed Pants & Penny Loafers? Oh its Unreal-Evening time...





Hmm, so I suppose I should Welcome you to the other side of reality....

So the 16_th of October definitely delivered this year. Now because I was on holiday, and dont have classes on Friday anyways, this is considered weekend time, so it was probably the highlight of the weekend. What happened? 1, 2, 3 things...

1. TCU beat the pants off of BYU, ending its winning-streak and ending its BCS dreams, oh how savory! Horned-Frog Power!



2. Beer-pong over at the Bird's Nest proved just as delicious, I was only a spectator, but I was reunited with the table I had previously spraypainted, the Red Bull girlies made an appearance--yes Hannah W, you kick ass!-- and I got to make fun of several kids wearing BYU shirts, though I dont know what they were doing playing beer pong... So yeah it was a BossHogOutlaw evening, Austin and Alex were lookin too fresh, and damn!, even Candace H was there, lookin all dimed out and everything!

3. Susan is back in India, so the wave is back in bidness ladies and gents. Thus, I had to sesh it first. There were squalls and 10ft. breakers--you know thats like 10 bonus points right? Tahhh, the trifecta was in full effect people...


Best October night yet. Keep it unreal.

Mmm how delicious..

Oh sirrah! Augustana, coffee, crepes & Quad shots of Dark Roast in the morning do it to me just right.
How deliciously absurd you say? Yes yes, quite true, so screw those who don't indulge their pleasures. Others might say this makes me a, Hedonism Bot, and yet, I must reply...

"I apologize for nothing!"

Oh Lord Something Isnt Right--Yeah, Its A Wednesday...

Today was pretty scary, well actually all days are pretty scary, but it wasnt just me this time, I promise. Not only did I get to watch Kenneth corner a pigeon in an alley behind a Thrift Store/Caribbean Hair Salon (10 points for anyone who knows where Im talking about). But then got lectured on what its like to kill a meth-head, and witnessed a 3-banded armadillo.

Lets get something straight. Armadillos are bad-ass. Anything that can roll into a ball and has digger claws is just boss hoggin'. I now want one as a pet. They are too tight. So Vote to Renew the Zoo, cus the thing lives there. Or actually, dont vote to renew it, cus when it has to close, Im gonna buy it. Yeah.


And now LJP is pressuring me to hurry up, wow shes a BAD ROBOT. Damn.
Thats all for now.

The Joy of Tweak

Hmm, after listening to Steve Salmon--of the WVC Police Department--explain how he and his partner had to discharge 20+! rounds of 9mm and 40cal. ammo into the skull, chest, and car of this tweaker at a 711, I had an epipheny. Well its more of a Dwight Shrute line actually.

Question: At what point do you, as a fucking loser, have to shoot at a cop who prolly has a family and home life and shit?

Answer: When you have 3 pistols, 6 loaded syringes of methamphetamine, a pellet gun, a grenade and 2 FUCKING STICKS of DYNAMITE in your car with you. It also helps that you have been sleeping in your car--which is parked in the handicapped spot--at a 711 all morning in the middle of a 100 degree summer.

I guess the moral of the story is that when you have 2 sticks of dynamite with you, you are pretty hardcore. Haha, where did dude even get dynamite? A Pawn shop? Really buddy? Its dynamite, you are ridiculous. Err, well, you were ridiculous.

More importantly than the moral however, is the result. Liiiike multiple 40cal. bullets lodged in your skull? Makes me want some spaghetti with the red sauce. Mmmmm.

Cold Air

So with a cold I decided to go meet up with Rama, and roam the EastMillcreek Area with my longboard last night. Sike. Austin has it. Ill get to him later I guess, but seeing as how there was a skate in my garage somehow, I set off anyways.

Now dont get me wrong, skates are fine if you like to skate, but I longboard, so this was pretty shitty at first. Like honestly, haveyou even seen how tiny the wheels are? I was one marble-sized piece of gravel away from death the whole ride. Fuckin ridiculous. That and you have to push like its going out of style to keep yourself on a steady pace, but wait, what was the point of this.

The cold air.

Yeah, so I had a cold--well sort of, it was that whole sore throat thing where you wanna die cus you cant swallow anything comfortably--but after getting winded and destroying my lungs with the freezing air all night, I woke this morning feeling like a champ. And I was throwin down manuals like it was my job.